He is a Forgiving God

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace." Ephesians 1:7

How encouraging it is to know that there is forgiveness for our wickedness! Whether we want to admit it or not, we have all sinned. Our sins were paid for by His blood. Do you believe this? Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you accept the free gift He wants to give you?
Being a 17 year old guy, I have done some pretty bad things. Things that are just between my parents and I, my friends and I, and things that are just between God and I. Whether they were actions, words, or thoughts, I'm guilty of a lot of wickedness. When I was 8 years old I made a profession of faith in front of my church family. There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus was living in me then, but between then and now, I've done some pretty bad things.
I can remember going into my sixth grade year at Gonzales Middle School. I was the teachers pet, the one not very many people cared for; the "Jesus FREAK". Through the 3 years I was in middle school I began to stray away from the word at school. I was a completely different person there than I was at home or at church. I began to use language that was not God-honoring and started taking the Lord's name in vain. All of this allowed me to "fit in". As long as no one at church found out or my parents, I'd be fine. What I didn't realize is that I couldn't hide it from God! I finished the 8th grade well; lots of friends, good grades, and still a "good christian" everywhere else.
My freshman year at EA God began to do a work. I was studying the life of Moses in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) that year and the whole theme was about God's holiness, and we should should strive to be holy like He is, even though we could never even get close enough to His holiness. While learning about His holiness I felt a great deal of conviction in my heart and I began to change; slowly but surely.
God really has done wonders in my life over the passed couple of years and I realize now more than ever that He has sent me through so many trials to prepare me for what's to come. Back in September my brother died because his heart gave out due to many years of drug addiction. Carrying that casket was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do in my life; but God was still good even then. Although I don't do drugs, I see that my days are numbered and that God knows the time and day He will call me home, whether He takes me through death or through the rapture. Seeing my family go through so much misery was hard. So many things left unsaid and so many things that should have been left unsaid after the fact have had a huge impact on my life. Bitterness can be a dangerous thing; especially when you begin to think such hateful thoughts that you begin to think how great it would be if you weren't here anymore!
But I still found myself living this life that was so two-faced. How can I act like a christian in one place and not the other? I think upon all of things I have done and realize how wretched I am, how much I don't deserve a place in Heaven.
I have had an undying calling to the mission field for about a year and a half now and I'm beginning to think this is what God is calling me to do for the rest of my life. To go out to other countries and proclaim His name! But I don't deserve to do this. I don't deserve to go serve Him. It is such an amazing thing to know that God wants to use me as a tool for His glory. How could I not be willing to go?
I have rambled on and on and on about me and here is my point! If you are a christian and feeling discouraged because of something you've done, God is the same forgiving God that saved you in the first place! If you haven't come to a point where you have a relationship with Jesus Christ because you don't feel good enough, please know: NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH TO GET TO HEAVEN! But because of Christ's death on the cross, we have the opportunity to have Eternal Life! It doesn't matter what you've done, there IS forgiveness for ALL sin!

He's not to far away, just a prayer away!
I will get better at writing so it might be easier to understand and less confusing to read! God Bless!