East to West

This has been one of my favorite songs for the passed few months. It gives me comfort that even though I have sinned so many times, God has forgiven me. It has also helped me cope with my pawpaw's death.

East to West: by Casting Crowns

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
He gives me the peace I need to get through my trials and hard times.

I have sinned so much, that it covers the east from the west.

I'm reminded of it every night before I go to bed and I cry out to God for forgiveness.

When I sin, I act as though it's not a big deal because God will forgive me, I should strive to not sin.

I feel as though God will just abandon me because I'm such a bad person, but yet, He forgives.

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

Jesus please show how much I have sinned because it might cause me to have more guilt.

I can't bear to see how much I have offended You, My God.

But Your mercy covers me, even though I don't deserve it.

You know how much I have sinned.

All my sin is spread out from one hand to the other.

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I start a new day as though it doesn't matter anymore because it's a different day.

I always make it about me in my troubles, not you.

PLEASE don't leave me on this wretched earth.

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

I know my name is written on Your heart.

Please help me to get through these storms.

I can't live for me, I must live to please you.

You keep holding my hand even though it seems as though I wanna let go.

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

You know that I have sinned.

I don't have to see it all to know how much I have sinned.

I find comfort in Your arms.

All my sin covers the east to the west but You are still here with me.

Think about this for a second. Who am I, to say it's okay to sin because God is forgiving. He is forgiving but that doesn't mean I should sin intentionally.

No matter how much I miss my pawpaw, I can't forget that MY God is soverein. He is Lord of all and He has a plan for everyone.

So, Lord, I'm gonna praise You in this storm, because You are who You are no matter where I am. Every tear I have cried You hold in Your hands, You've never left my side and though my heart is torn, I WILL PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM.

Give it to God, the one and the only, and He will comfort you!

Experience

We all have different experiences in life! Some are good and some are bad. Some hurt us and some make us stronger. Some would say that when a grandparent dies it would just make it harder and hurt all the children impacted. But, I'm speaking from experience when I say it makes you stronger. This summer my grandfather died. He battled with cancer for two years, but that's not what killed him. In a way it did because it made him weak and caused him to fall. A fall is what killed him. He hit the right place in his head.

When you see that happen, it scares you. It makes you realize that you really don't have to be sick to die. All it takes is a fall. So, does that scare you? That's why christians ask the question, do you know without a doubt if you died today that you would go to Heaven?. That's an important question to ask yourself because yea, God is a merciful God, but why should he give you a chance after you die to go to Heaven when he has given you to many to count on earth? He shouldn't, that's the answer.

He wants all his creation, humans, to honor him and glorify him. He made us in his own image and put us on a beautiful earth and one, we are destroying it, two, we obviously don't appreciate it. How can we be so ungrateful to a God so loving? It doesn't make any sense at all.

So, are you gonna live life for God instead of for yourself.

While my pawpaw's death hurt my mimi so bad, she is still trusting God and still has faith in him. So as I am.It hurt me and my family so bad, but in a way it made me stronger. I realize more and more not to take life for granted. I have to stay strong for those around me, especially my mimi.