To go to Africa

All of my life I’ve wanted to be a doctor. Man, when I was 8 years old, I wanted to go to Harvard medical school. I even had an email that was harvord_medical_student@yahoo.com. Notice that Harvard is spelled wrong, HEY I was a kid; still am! Every time I mentioned this to people they always rolled their eyes. As I got older I realized to go to Harvard I needed much better grades, why this was a goal, to get my grades up, Harvard was a dream that I had already awakened up from. But the doctor part was still there. About two years ago God called me to mission field. I began to wonder how i could be a doctor and a missionary. Maybe God was just calling me to missions. But He had given me such a heart for sick children that I knew He wanted me to do something on the mission field.

I began to explore my options. I finally put down the mac and decided to pray about it. These ideas just began to float in my mind, ideas that I think are impossible. The term “impossibility” became foreign to me when God began to show me just how omnipotent He really is.

The passed few months I’ve been praying very hard that God would show me what He wants me to do. I get so frustrated sometimes just thinking about it. Then, the other night an idea hit me:

I could go to school when I graduate and get a degree in oncology and general medicine. ALOT of schooling but it would be worth it in the end. Then, work for a few years and recruit another doctor and a few nurses. From there we would all move to Africa and build a clinic. We would be gin taking patients and while treating them or diagnosing them, we could witness to them and share the gospel with them!

I came inside one night after thinking about all this and confronted my momma. I told her about my plan and I was so excited! She wasn’t to enthused about the whole thing but that didn’t get me down. That night I was laying in bed hardly getting enough rest thinking about this GREAT plan.

I began to forget the whole reason I wanted to do this. The main goal in my life is to glorify God the way He should be. I don’t have to build a clinic in Africa to share the gospel. I don’t have to go to East Asia for 10 days to be a servant of Christ. Yes, these things are good, but what about the place God put me. What about the plans God has for me. Why not just let Him put me where He wants me?

Through all of this dramatic chaos God is in control. Last week I forgot about this.
Last week one of my authority figures told me that I wasn’t smart enough to even make it through pre-med. This was so discouraging to me. That whole night sitting under her teaching I was having treacherous thoughts, just HATEFUL thoughts. Who was she to tell me that I am not smart enough. Getting so hot-headed about the whole thing, I forgot that I wasn’t even sure if God even wanted me to be a doctor or not!

I got home that night and was just so disgusted. I went straight to be and then next day was just awful. Wednesday rolled around and I just began to feel so convicted about my thoughts toward this woman, and how I just wasn’t trusting God. I had become a person that I never thought I would become. I had completely put all of my trust in MY plans and what I wanted to do.

But, again, God broke me. He broke through the cement to my heart before it got to hard. On my way home that night this song came on K-LOVE and really spoke to me;

I've been here before
Now, here I am again
Standing at the door
Praying You'll let me back in

To label me
A prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who I've been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what I've become

I focused on the score
But I could never win
Trying to ignore
A life of hiding my sin

To label me
A hypocrite would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who I've been known to be

Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one
Who can undo what I've become

Make every step lead me back to
The sovereign way that You
Turn me around, pick me up
Undo what I've become
Bring me back to the place
Of forgiveness and grace
I need You, I need Your help
I can't do this myself
You're the only one who can undo
You are the only one who can undo
You're the only one who can undo
What I've become

After this song, all I could do was turn off the radio and pray. Ask forgiveness for the awful person I’d become. I put my trust back in Christ. Now, the next few days were still hard but talking to God got me through it.

I titled this “To go to Africa” in the beginning. I’ll leave it that way. The point in this is to show that God is in control of it all.

The Love of the World

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.”
1 John 2:15-17

Love is a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties

Have you ever thought about God as love? He is love, and loves us. But there is a type of love that he doesn’t like, it is the love of the world. No one can simply love Christ and love the world at the same time. If you love Christ, you’ve given your whole life to Him.
God’s Love is a love we won’t be able to fathom until we are with Him. Today, we live in a society that defines love as an attraction. Like “love at first sight”. You have teenagers falling in “love” left an right because they are physically attracted to someone. This simply doesn’t even compare to God’s love on ANY scale!
Loving the world could be considered as being in rebellion against God. You have the lust of the flesh which is our desire to sin, the lust of the eyes which is being attracted by things that tempt us to sin, and the pride of life which is striving to live as though “you’re the best”. The world is a Christian’s enemy because of what it is and what it does.
Those who love the world over God are doomed!

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”
John 3:16

God “SO LOVED” the world! John MacArthur states in his commentary that “the word “so” emphasizes the intensity or greatness of His love.” He loved us so passionately that He sent His son to die for us so that, if we wanted, He would adopt us as a child of Him. So that when we die here on earth, that we would not have to endure eternal damnation.

What is your heart set on? Is it set on the ONLY One who can bring you happiness and fulfillment? Jesus Christ is the true lover of your life! He loves you more than anyone else could ever love you. Your love for someone could never outweigh God’s love for you!


Steven Curtis Chapman sings a song. It talks about Jim Elliot and the guys that went with him to a nation that were not receptive of the gospel. Jim Elliot and those men died, so that those people might know Christ. His wife went to the nation after the tragedy and they received Christ as their Savior, all because those “Men of Courage” were willing to give their life as Christ did so they might have eternal life.

Man of courage with your message of peace
What is that look in your eyes?
Why have you come to this faraway place?
What is this story you would lay down your life to tell?
What kind of love can this be?

There is no greater love than this
There is no greater gift that can ever be given
To be willing to die so another might live
There is no greater love than this

Broken hearted from all you have lost
How can you sing through your tears?
What is this music that can bear such a cost?
What is this fire that grows stronger against the wind?
What kind of flame can this be?

This is the love that God showed the world
When He gave us His Son
So we could know His love forever
Beyond the gates of splendor

Before the Throne of God Above

Before the throne of God above
I have a strong, a perfect plea:
A great High Priest, whose name is Love,
Who ever lives and pleads for me.

We have an advocate with God the Father!

My name is graven on his hands,
My name is written on his heart;
I know that while in heaven he stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart
No tongue can bid me thence depart.

My sin put Him on that cross! Yet He still adopted me as His own.

When Satan tempts me to despair,
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look, and see him there
Who made an end of all my sin.

No matter what I've done Jesus still loves me. His forgiveness stretches from the east to the west!

Because a sinless Savior died,
My sinful soul is counted free;
For God, the Just, is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
To look on Him and pardon me

He was willing to die for someone else's wrong doing. Because of this, we can spend Eternity with Him.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Praise the One,
Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb
My perfect, spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I am,
The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die
My soul is purchased by his blood
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ, my Savior and my God
With Christ, my Savior and my God

Wow! "One in himself, I cannot die, my soul is purchased by His blood..." Does this not give you the goosebumps?

He is a Forgiving God

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace." Ephesians 1:7

How encouraging it is to know that there is forgiveness for our wickedness! Whether we want to admit it or not, we have all sinned. Our sins were paid for by His blood. Do you believe this? Why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you accept the free gift He wants to give you?
Being a 17 year old guy, I have done some pretty bad things. Things that are just between my parents and I, my friends and I, and things that are just between God and I. Whether they were actions, words, or thoughts, I'm guilty of a lot of wickedness. When I was 8 years old I made a profession of faith in front of my church family. There is no doubt in my mind that Jesus was living in me then, but between then and now, I've done some pretty bad things.
I can remember going into my sixth grade year at Gonzales Middle School. I was the teachers pet, the one not very many people cared for; the "Jesus FREAK". Through the 3 years I was in middle school I began to stray away from the word at school. I was a completely different person there than I was at home or at church. I began to use language that was not God-honoring and started taking the Lord's name in vain. All of this allowed me to "fit in". As long as no one at church found out or my parents, I'd be fine. What I didn't realize is that I couldn't hide it from God! I finished the 8th grade well; lots of friends, good grades, and still a "good christian" everywhere else.
My freshman year at EA God began to do a work. I was studying the life of Moses in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) that year and the whole theme was about God's holiness, and we should should strive to be holy like He is, even though we could never even get close enough to His holiness. While learning about His holiness I felt a great deal of conviction in my heart and I began to change; slowly but surely.
God really has done wonders in my life over the passed couple of years and I realize now more than ever that He has sent me through so many trials to prepare me for what's to come. Back in September my brother died because his heart gave out due to many years of drug addiction. Carrying that casket was the hardest thing I think I have ever had to do in my life; but God was still good even then. Although I don't do drugs, I see that my days are numbered and that God knows the time and day He will call me home, whether He takes me through death or through the rapture. Seeing my family go through so much misery was hard. So many things left unsaid and so many things that should have been left unsaid after the fact have had a huge impact on my life. Bitterness can be a dangerous thing; especially when you begin to think such hateful thoughts that you begin to think how great it would be if you weren't here anymore!
But I still found myself living this life that was so two-faced. How can I act like a christian in one place and not the other? I think upon all of things I have done and realize how wretched I am, how much I don't deserve a place in Heaven.
I have had an undying calling to the mission field for about a year and a half now and I'm beginning to think this is what God is calling me to do for the rest of my life. To go out to other countries and proclaim His name! But I don't deserve to do this. I don't deserve to go serve Him. It is such an amazing thing to know that God wants to use me as a tool for His glory. How could I not be willing to go?
I have rambled on and on and on about me and here is my point! If you are a christian and feeling discouraged because of something you've done, God is the same forgiving God that saved you in the first place! If you haven't come to a point where you have a relationship with Jesus Christ because you don't feel good enough, please know: NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH TO GET TO HEAVEN! But because of Christ's death on the cross, we have the opportunity to have Eternal Life! It doesn't matter what you've done, there IS forgiveness for ALL sin!

He's not to far away, just a prayer away!
I will get better at writing so it might be easier to understand and less confusing to read! God Bless!