God's Life-Not Ours

We all have different views on life and how we think it should be and turn out. Whether we want it to turn out a certain way or not doesn't matter. God controls it all. There are things in my life that I have done and that I regret, but in the long run if God hadn't given me those trials, I wouldn't be going as strong as I am today.

My God has been so great to me in my life, especially over the passed year. He has poured on me a number of blessings that I couldn't begin to count. It was about a year ago that I recognized the power of prayer. When we pray, we sometimes ask for certain things to happen and not happen. It's like we are giving God suggestions on how to run our lives, when it is really His show that's running. I learned that praying to Him giving Him thanks for putting me here and praising Him for allowing me the chance to enter His kingdom. When I had a bad day, I came home and praised Him for it, that He might make me stronger.

~there will be more...

My Blessing

About one year ago, I would never imagine myself to be at a private school. You know, one of those places that everyone assumes stuck up rich folks go. Well, I can say that that isn't the case. I can't imagine wanting to go to school anywhere else now. The people I have met are amazing. I have found friends I can "talk" to, that I can trust and that trust me. There is no drama at all, although. I have learned that if they didn't like me, they wouldn't "pick" on me.

Although I love going to Gonzales Baptist Academy, the work is still much more difficult. I must work a lot harder than I had to in public school. It has gotten very discouraging on some days. But, all I need to do is trust God because He gave me this. He provided me with christian friends, a better education, and most importantly spiritual growth.

There are times when I want to give up on my work and not try anymore, but it's hard to when you have good friends that continue to encourage you.

Not only have I found a new school, but a new church to fellowship with on Sunday nights and some Wednesday nights. It's so comforting to have people that encourage you everyday. Oh how God has blessed me.

To my new friends:

Thank you for everything. For all the encouragement and friendship you have brought forth to me. I'm so happy I had the opportunity to come to GBA and also that I got to meet you all..! :)

Going through the motions

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

Sometimes there are changes in our lives that we HAVE to make. It might mean having to make drastic changes in our life, but it's well worth it.. Lord, you can help me through it, after all I wanna live for you!
I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
I don't want this vicious cycle to continue. I don't want to go through another day without assurance in my heart that I will see You, God, one day. I don't want to be on my death bed when I realize I didn't live life the way God intended.
No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
I'm not gonna back down from this. I'm going to go through and stay strong. Only with Your love can I get through another day. I'm finally realizing that I need You and I want to live for You and I can't wait to see you one day. It's not enough to "get by" anymore. Help me through the troubles of life.
'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"
I'm going to live for you. I don't want to be the man I once was. I'm going to give it my all and live for you.
take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

-Lyrics by song by Matthew West

What does this song mean to you?

"I don't wanna go through the motions."

As "people" we tend to live as the world lives. The world says, "Live life the way you want to live it, believe what you want to believe and you will be fine for all of eternity." THIS IS NOT TRUE! Last year I studied The Life of Moses in a Bible Study. Half way through the year, I began to actually pay attention to the lessons. Then, I began to pray. God worked in me. I was baptized when I was 8 years old, (I apparently thought I had it all figured out.) Even as christians God can work through us. God showed me that I needed to make changes. Not only in life, but in the way I think also. If thoughts aren't pure, they are not up to God's standards.

I also began to pray more. Whether my day is good or bad, I praise God. He has made everyday and it is good in His eyes. When my days are good, He is Lord over all. When my days are bad, He is Lord over all. He still deserves praise on the worst days.

I am so blessed to have the assurance in my heart that I will see God one day. If I went one day without God's hand on my life, I would not be able to operate. I don't want to go through this life without knowing that there is hope of living after death.

*What about you? Are you gonna go through the motions of this life without knowing Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?

When you "Like" ___________!

Time to fill in the blank. When you like "something", you like to hold on to it. If it's food you wanna eat more, if it's an activity, you wanna do it more.

When you like "________", you wanna hold on to ____. You don't want to overstep your bounds, and you don't want to ruin anything. You try your best to control _______ but sometimes you feel out of control. When you tell that __________ how you feel, you hope for a "good" answer, or just the answer you hope for. If you don't get the one you want, you freak out, or you get _______ involved. You begin to try and get the one you wanted but it doesn't work like you wanted it to. Fill in the blanks!!!

I've come to realize that I didn't get the ________ I wanted but you know what, it apparently wasn't in God's timing and not in His will. And whether it is or not does matter. So, I'm gonna stop wanting that ______ and live life like a normal teenager.

What our time is spent on!

What do we spend most of our money and time on and is it worth it?

This is a popular instrument in society today. The computer. I think it's pretty accurate to say that with out computers, it would be hard to operate businesses, schools, etc. But do we use these for things that aren't needed? For example, facebook. Do we really need this or any other social networking sites? The computer has its great uses but it also has its bad things. We all know what I'm gonna say next. PORN! A very dangerous thing to get caught up in. Also considered a sin against God. What do you use the computer for, yourself, God, addictions? This invention has gotten our technology world a long way down a long road. But it can also get you into deep trouble.

This was bound to be the next invention mentioned. Cellular Devices. These are used excessively not every day or every hour or every minute, but every second. These can be used as computers in themselves. They can also get you into a world of trouble. I'm not sure that the working community could or even would operate without these things. They are used for calling, text messaging, emailing, internet, etc. The funny thing is, there are 8 year olds walking around with these things talking to God knows who and using them for things that are not meant for. I will confess I have had my texting addictions but I have been trying to cut back because I'm not gonna be one of those people who can;t operate without one.

IPODS! Wow these things have their amazing sides. I have 3, but don't call me a freak yet because I'm not done. These items began only for music then to videos then to apps then to internet then to phone, all in the same year. This brings me to the next subject, music. What do you feel your ipod with or mp3 player? Are they filled with Gospel music? HAHAHAHA I know I just made you laugh on the inside. Okay, is all the music on it a song that God would listen to? Well I will confess that God wouldn't want to listen to my ipod.

Video Games. Now, I'm not a big gamer. But let's talk about them. There are video games that are harmless but some that are questionable. Do you like playing games with violence, language, and sexuality? Why would you feel your mind with that junk? Video games aren't for me so I have to much nerve giving my opinion on it. I cover all the bad video games with music and movies I watch.

The point of this blog is to figure out what we spend most our time doing. All of these items are time consuming and steal away time we could be spending with God. But there is one more item to consider that we will all have trouble finding time to deal with.

The Word of God! How much time do we spend on this everyday? More time than we spend on our computers, ipods, phones, or playing video games? No, we don't spend nearly as much time as we should with this book God has provided us.

God Changed My Life

I went to public school for 10 years of my life (from kindergarden-9th grade). I was the kid that got picked on, I was also the "christian kid". I never really was sociable except with my family and sometimes church, but other than that I haven't ever really "hung" out with friends. I was always the kid that wanted to do the right thing. I was the kid whose parents trusted him. I have had only a few "true" friends in my life, and they are still my friends.

I was the kid that when I was invited somewhere, I always held back for some reason. Why? I don't know, maybe the fear of being picked on. When I began middle school, that's when the friendships that I have really began. That's when all I knew became confusing.

As the years went by I became more and more anti-social. There is one thing I didn't have at the beginning of my middle school/high school experience that I said I had all along. That's Jesus Christ. At the age of 8, I claimed to be a christian and that Jesus was my savior. It wasn't until about 2 years ago when I realized that I wasn't living the christian life. I became enrolled in a bible study that I still go to on Monday nights, and it is truly amazing how far God has brought me. He has taught me to go to Him for everything and He shall answer, maybe not right away but He WILL answer.

When it was made clear to me that I needed to stop trying to live life to please me, I became more alive in the social community. Not nearly as much as I wanted to be, but I began to speak up more and talk to people. That just got me in trouble, I became more of a smart alic and getting in trouble by my authorities. Then God spoke to my heart again to calm me.

I soon became more appreciative for what God has given. Such as this thing called family. Now, when you have a family like mine, it's hard to keep up. But God just showed how blessed I am to have all the connections I have. I soon became less obsessed with wanting friends, and more obsessed with wanting to live the life God wanted me to have.

As the years progressed I began to fall away again, especially when I went to high school I began to say things that surprised me and began getting in trouble more. One day I realized what I had become and I just prayed, I got on my knees and prayed. I realized that I needed to change and change for good. That's my mom had began praying about a better environment for me to be in. That's when Gonzales Baptist Academy came into place.

I began this school scared to death and holding on for dear life. You know what God did though? He gave me knew friends, and new people to connect with. He gave a more friendly environment to begin again and to stay the way He wants me.

Don't doubt the power of God, because that'll get you no where. He will answer your prayers, just not in your timing!

HALF is an understatement

Half is used in many ways. One way is half brother/half sister. Well technically I have 3 half sisters and 2 half brothers. One of those sisters I may add, I have lived with all my life. I didn't know till a couple of years ago that "biologically" we were halves. So what does that mean? Well Our mom has 2 children by 2 people. Whitney, my sister I have lived with forever, her parents are divorced, but mine are still married. Which makes Whitney and I half brother/half sister. But why? Why does it matter? When people ask me about my family I'm like do you really wanna know? When I explain it, they say, "So Whitney is your half sister." I say, "No." And I always get a puzzled look. Whether Whit is my half sister or not, she is still my sister.

Out of all my "brothers" and "sisters", Whit and I are closest. We have been through more together than we have with the others.

So to clear something up, no, me and Whitney are not halves we are wholes. I love my sister so much that she just doesn't know (which I probably wouldn't admit anywhere but here). We could be furious at each other and two seconds later it all be okay, (or sometimes that can be the case). I know I could talk to her about anything and she will give me her honest opinion and not hold back, (trust me, she doesn't hold back). We stick up for each other. We know each others limits, (which I go over sometimes just for the fun of it), and can talk to each other about ANYTHING!

Bottom line, I don't consider me and Whitney halves, she is my whole sister. She doesn't have half her body around me, she has her whole one. I'm glad me and her have the close relationship we have and I hope it lasts.

So this was a random blog and I apologize. But, I was being rampaged about writing another blog. So here it is. But it came from the heart and it wasn't artificial.

In Me

Lyrics in BOLD

Blog not in BOLD

If you asked me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
God put us on earth because He needed us correct? WRONG! But He did put us here for a reason: to praise Him for all eternity. He calls us as christians to go spread the word and witness to the ends of the earth. Just because we leave our homes doesn't mean He isn't still with us 24/7.

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind You shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
Lord, You give me strength to carry on your will. When I can't see clearly, you make light of it and show me what to do. I know that I can't live forever on my own; it's only by your power. I'm so happy you're a God that doesn't need help with anything and doesn't need to depend on me. How honored do I feel that you want me to say your name. You are the rock I am standing on. Only with you, can I fight against the storms until you come to conquer the earth, by the power of Christ in me.

If you ask me to run
And carry your light into foreign land
If you ask me to fight
Deliver your people from Satan's hand

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
If you ask me to leave the country for Your sake, I will go willingly. If you ask me to go witness to those possessed by Satan, I'll go for Your sake.

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

Lord, You give me strength to carry on your will. When I can't see clearly, you make light of it and show me what to do. I know that I can't live forever on my own; it's only by your power. I'm so happy you're a God that doesn't need help with anything and doesn't need to depend on me. How honored do I feel that you want me to say your name. You are the rock I am standing on. Only with you, can I fight against the storms until you come to conquer the earth, by the power of Christ in me.

To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
and to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory
I won't go faint, I will follow You all of my days and I will trust You. I would give my las breath of Your glory.

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
Lord, You give me strength to carry on your will. When I can't see clearly, you make light of it and show me what to do. I know that I can't live forever on my own; it's only by your power.

When I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me

Lord, You give me strength to carry on your will. When I can't see clearly, you make light of it and show me what to do. I know that I can't live forever on my own; it's only by your power. I'm so happy you're a God that doesn't need help with anything and doesn't need to depend on me. How honored do I feel that you want me to say your name. You are the rock I am standing on. Only with you, can I fight against the storms until you come to conquer the earth, by the power of Christ in me.

Is this the same of you? All of these words are just words. They aren't of me. I wish I could do and fulfill all I just typed but this is what we are called to do.

LAMININ

Wow, that's all there is to say about this. Just wow. Laminin, it holds your body together and it's in

the shape of a cross. Didn't Jesus die on one of those? So wait, your telling me that there are

millions of crosses in your body or in every human body for that matter? Which means that when

God created man He did that. So His glory is still being shown today?

Now those questions were all very rhetorical. But, did it get you to thinking? It sure should have.

Month #1 at GBA

Wow, a year ago I wouldn't imagine myself anywhere but E.A. But I have definitely adjusted. I was a nervous wreck the day before school started. I felt as though I would throw up all of my nerves. After this month has just flown by, I realize that I was scared for nothing. Everyone was very kind and I have actually made a few friends which I'm very thankful for. I would have never thought that I would be this used to it by now.

The work is much harder than I am used to but I'll hopefully get the hang of it.

I just want to praise God for the opportunity to go to this school because now that I'm there, I don't ever want to go back to E.A.

I just want to thank everyone who has made me feel welcome at my new school and I'm looking forward to a great 3 years.

Having Regrets

It's a Thursday evening and I'm so bored, so what to blog about eh?

How about regretting what you do/what you didn't do!

We all have regrets sometime in our lives, some regrets are good and some are bad. What do you regret? Sometimes I find myself regret such stupid things like not eating a certain type of food when I have a choice, or being very ugly to a true friend. What about sin? Do we regret sinning as often as we should. I know of some cases that people regret sin in, pregnancy. That's a huge topic in the teen realm. We think we have it all. We can take care of ourselves so why not lose our virginity? Everyone else does. So when a girl turns up pregnant she often feels bad, but is it about sinning? Or about have to decide on what to do with it. By the way, ABORTION IS NOT THE ANSWER. But that's another subject for another time.

What about regretting being disobedient? Do we regret it for the right reason or for the wrong reason. I know I regret it because it prevents me from doing the things I love but I should regret only because I have let God down and it just disappoints Him more for me just to look Him over and not repent.

We always say things that we shouldn't say. (Which I have a huge problem with.) We say hurtful things to people who hurt us or just say hurtful things to be mean about it. That isn't the way to act is it? When you look at how Jesus came to die on the cross for OUR sins, He never said one harsh word. When He could have struck us down, He didn't. He had a choice whether to fulfill His prophecy for us or not, and He chose to.

One thing I regret often is not studying for a test. If I don't study I shouldn't expect to make the grade. We regret gifts that we receive.

What about our parents? Have you ever regretted having your parents? I know I have and that is such a foolish thing to do. How can someone regret their parents? There are certain cases that are different than others but just regretting your parents because they spank you or punish you makes you a fool. It is the second commandment to obey thy Father and thy Mother.

What are some things that your regret? Is it worth regretting or are you just being foolish?

Honoring God

Do you honor God in everything you do? I don't always but I try to honor Him.

Do you praise God for everyday that you're alive? I don't always but I try to remember to.

Are you thankful for all that God has given you? I'm not always thankful; I should try harder.

So why is it important to honor God in everything we do? Well, why shouldn't we? He made us remember? He made us in His own image so that we might glorify Him. But we don't do as we should. When you are little your parents teach you about obedience. Your mom and your dad enforce rules for your safety and you are just waiting for the day to turn 18 to do whatever you want right? WRONG! First off, you should always be submissive to your parents no matter how old you get. God put them in your life for a reason. You often here that you have two fathers. You have the earthly one that God gave you, and you have God. Now, you might be thinking, Josh that's just ridiculous. Well it's not that ridiculous when you think about it. God is your father also just as your father on earth. Just as it says in the ten commandments, Honor thy Father and thy Mother. FATHER means your father on earth and your heavenly Father. Mother of course is referring to your mother because you only have one of those. So you should honor God as your Father.

Why is it important to praise God everyday that you're alive? Well let's see. HE MADE YOU. DUH!!! OK now that I just about blew a gasket, let me explain. Why shouldn't we praise Him everyday? He has given us so much in our lives, not to mention our lives, and we are so unappreciative. We live in a society that depends on luck and that's all the hope that some people have. Well, sorry to break it to you but you're not lucky, you're just blessed, and God is the one that blessed you. How do you praise God, a lot of people believe that praising God needs to be done by singing songs. That's not the only way of worshipping Him. What about in your prayers, if you pray, which you should. Do you worship Him then? Why not? You are actually talking to Him.

What about being thankful for everything God has given you? Why is that important? Well, do you enjoy the stuff you have? All that you have is from God whether you believe it or not! We take for granted all the things that we have and we act like we deserve it. WE DON'T! God can take everything you have away no matter what you do about it because you can't do anything about. Why do we depend so much on ourselves to provide for our needs or for the families we have when if we give it all to God and just trust Him we will be just fine.

So did anything I just say or type make you think at all? I hope so. I often forget that I have a creator and His name is God and He made everything and He provides for my every need. If only I would give all of my other problems to Him, I'd just be better off. There is not a thing that God can't handle. He can do anything and I can do anything through Him who gives me strength. That should be everyone's motto.

Summer is indeed over

I can't believe that came out of my mind. It has been such a long summer for me. What about you? Was your summer good? Or was it slow? I'm so glad mine is over because I got to begin my new school. Being there only a short amount of time, I have actually gotten used to it. I think everyone thinks I'm weird, but I'm ok with that. The work is alot more challenging which is good for me but the way of doing things, I'm gonna have to get used to it. I'd like to say I have made friends but I'm not sure if I am that for along yet. Everyone is very friendly though and I love the environment.

Changes

So, we all have changes that we go through in life. My recent change is my new school, Gonzales Baptist Academy. I started this passed Monday, August 10, 2009. It has definitely been a new experience. The very first day I was there everyone just came up to me and introduced themselves to me. I was surprised that everyone took to me so well. It is so much different than public school. I'm not sure if I've made any friends yet, but I'm on my way. The last thing I want to do though, is make someone mad at me and turn the whole school against me. So I am deathly paranoid that I'm gonna mess up something.

While I want everyone to like me and take well to me, that's not the most important thing here. The thing is that this is an answered prayer. My mom and I have prayed about a change in my educational experience for 5 months and after those long months God has answered. WOW, how wonderful.

Why do I want more though? Why do I want people to like me, so it will be easier to get through the next 3 years even though I just said this is a dream come true and a prayer answered? The point I'm trying to make is, no matter how much we ask God for something, and we get that something, we ALWAYS want more. So God, am I asking to much? Please forgive me if I am, I just don't want these people to think that I'm a freak. But why does that matter? To me even? It shouldn't.

Lord I'm sorry if I have, am, and will ask to much. I don't want to take advantage of the God who put me here and has given me more than anyone could ever ask for. You have been so good to me so please help me to be more thankful...

The Death Penalty

Which side are you on? The death penalty should be enforced, or it should not be enforced? Which side am I on, I have no clue. Is it right to have your own opinion? Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Is your own opinion right? Not necessarily always. The death penalty is a topic that no one will ever agree on. Before you begin to assume that someone else’ opinion is wrong, look at their point of view and determine whether it’s a fair point, so lets look at both points.

The death penalty is right and very good thing to have. This is an opinion that most people in society have today. If someone kills another, they should die too. An eye for an eye, a foot for a foot, and a life for a life right? I mean we all have our chances and if you make a mistake like killing someone, you should be killed. We have a chance to live life right and if you screw that up then, that’s your fault.

The death penalty is wrong and very a bad thing to have. Yes, if you make a mistake you absolutely should be punished. But what about sin? God put us on this earth to worship Him forever and ever. We don’t do that everyday and all the time like we are supposed to. God doesn’t kill us for dishonoring Him. To many, dishonoring isn’t as bad as killing, but wait... In the bible it says that no sin is worse than the other. And if you really want to get technical, in the ten commandments it says, do not commit murder, and it goes on to say that you commit murder when you speak harsh words and have harsh thoughts against someone. So, if everyone that committed murder died, we would all be dead. But most blessedly, we have a God who forgives us and still gives us a chance everyday to have eternal life.

Does this change your perspective either way? Whether it does or doesn’t it’s not mine or anyone else’ right to judge. But try to consider the other opinion.

East to West

This has been one of my favorite songs for the passed few months. It gives me comfort that even though I have sinned so many times, God has forgiven me. It has also helped me cope with my pawpaw's death.

East to West: by Casting Crowns

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
He gives me the peace I need to get through my trials and hard times.

I have sinned so much, that it covers the east from the west.

I'm reminded of it every night before I go to bed and I cry out to God for forgiveness.

When I sin, I act as though it's not a big deal because God will forgive me, I should strive to not sin.

I feel as though God will just abandon me because I'm such a bad person, but yet, He forgives.

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

Jesus please show how much I have sinned because it might cause me to have more guilt.

I can't bear to see how much I have offended You, My God.

But Your mercy covers me, even though I don't deserve it.

You know how much I have sinned.

All my sin is spread out from one hand to the other.

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I start a new day as though it doesn't matter anymore because it's a different day.

I always make it about me in my troubles, not you.

PLEASE don't leave me on this wretched earth.

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

I know my name is written on Your heart.

Please help me to get through these storms.

I can't live for me, I must live to please you.

You keep holding my hand even though it seems as though I wanna let go.

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

You know that I have sinned.

I don't have to see it all to know how much I have sinned.

I find comfort in Your arms.

All my sin covers the east to the west but You are still here with me.

Think about this for a second. Who am I, to say it's okay to sin because God is forgiving. He is forgiving but that doesn't mean I should sin intentionally.

No matter how much I miss my pawpaw, I can't forget that MY God is soverein. He is Lord of all and He has a plan for everyone.

So, Lord, I'm gonna praise You in this storm, because You are who You are no matter where I am. Every tear I have cried You hold in Your hands, You've never left my side and though my heart is torn, I WILL PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM.

Give it to God, the one and the only, and He will comfort you!

Experience

We all have different experiences in life! Some are good and some are bad. Some hurt us and some make us stronger. Some would say that when a grandparent dies it would just make it harder and hurt all the children impacted. But, I'm speaking from experience when I say it makes you stronger. This summer my grandfather died. He battled with cancer for two years, but that's not what killed him. In a way it did because it made him weak and caused him to fall. A fall is what killed him. He hit the right place in his head.

When you see that happen, it scares you. It makes you realize that you really don't have to be sick to die. All it takes is a fall. So, does that scare you? That's why christians ask the question, do you know without a doubt if you died today that you would go to Heaven?. That's an important question to ask yourself because yea, God is a merciful God, but why should he give you a chance after you die to go to Heaven when he has given you to many to count on earth? He shouldn't, that's the answer.

He wants all his creation, humans, to honor him and glorify him. He made us in his own image and put us on a beautiful earth and one, we are destroying it, two, we obviously don't appreciate it. How can we be so ungrateful to a God so loving? It doesn't make any sense at all.

So, are you gonna live life for God instead of for yourself.

While my pawpaw's death hurt my mimi so bad, she is still trusting God and still has faith in him. So as I am.It hurt me and my family so bad, but in a way it made me stronger. I realize more and more not to take life for granted. I have to stay strong for those around me, especially my mimi.

WOW! Summer is here!

We often get caught up in our lives with plans and excitement, but what about God? Do we just forget about Him? We definitely should not. I go to a Bible study every Monday night during the school year and i become really close to God and the study ends when school does. Does that mean that my mind should shut out everything? No, it shouldn't.
This summer I have a lot of stuff to do and accomplish. But that will not get in the way of my relationship with God! He wants to draw us closer to Him but He gives us a choice whether we want Him close or not. I choose to have Him close in my life.

I know I'm a dork

I already know I'm a dork so build a bridge so you can get over it! Now, are you saying that I'm a dork for a specific reason or just to annoy me? Either way it does not annoy me! It may be because I make better grades then you, I have a life, or you're just a jerk. But, if it is because of my relationship with Jesus Christ, and i get called a dork, PRAISE GOD!!!! At least I am showing Him somehow in my life. You do not hurt my feelings by calling me names based on what I believe. Now, don't begin to call my Savior names because then we will have issues.
OK, I was on the role just now because something just popped into my head. But hey, at least it's something worth writing about. See, we often go to church on the weekend and some of us also on Wednesday nights. When we leave that place we call "church" we continue to live in sin. Just because we go to church every week does not mean that we are "cool" with God! Why is that? Well, it is in His Word! DUH!!! We that proclaim to be Christians have a HUGE tendency to do this. It's called being 2 faced!
What makes me qualified to make these accusations? Well I really don't have a right to considering most of this has to do with me and it would be hypocritical if I didn't admit it!

An OK Day

Today was a good day. A good day in the sense that i wasn't involved in any drama or accidents at school. You know, God sees all you do no matter what it is, in secret or in the open. Sometimes the result of sinning is maybe a bad day, week, drama, or just something that annoys you. To me that makes me happy because God doesn't show His wrath on us everyday like He did the Israelites in the desert.

Sin is like a poison. When you let it get a hold of you it's hard to get off. Some people say, I'll do this now even though it's wrong because God is so gracious. That is a huge misconception in our own little world today. Now don't mistake me, God does forgive. But, if we commit a sin all the time and we ask repentance as a chore to be done, it's not true sorrow.

We see in the news everyday our country just going down a blackhole. All this evil in the world is put in the light and is made right in the peoples eyes. So, that means it's ok in God's eyes, right? WRONG! For instance: Divorce is made like a normal thing to happen to families. Even though it defys God's law because it says in the Bible that "God hates divorce." Abortion is made ok. IT'S NOT!!!

An ok day can be turned into a nightmare if you purposefully disobey God, or do things that you know do not honor Him.

I am not proclaiming to be perfect but i am proclaiming to be a christian. That doesn't mean that I do not sin but it simply means i have assurance that I'm going to Heaven when I die. I have excepted Christ in my life and have made a commitment to Him to do my best to follow His law and when i fall, He will forgive me!!!!!

Good days/Bad days

Everyday you wake up is because God intended for you to wake up. Just because God allowed you to wake up doesn't mean that all in your life is going to be swell. Today was an okay day for me, i can't speak for my friends but for me it was good. I'm making all the grades I want to make and i praise God for that. I've learned that instead asking God to make things better in my life, thank Him for the good gifts I receive in a lifetime/day.

Wherever you are and wherever you go there are always going to be obstacles to overcome! I have learned this school year that running away is not the answer. About 3 months after school started, me and my mom were talking about all my problems at my school and all the drama between me and my friends. I had decided that it would be best that my parents take me out of public school and home school me for all of the wrong reasons. I was trying to run away from my problems with different people and it's not til now that i realize that it's not about my good days and bad days. It's about how i make those days and how i let my light shine for God! He gave me those situations to make light of them.

Now it's decided that I'm not going to be home schooled but I am gonna go to a private school that does a home school curriculum. It wasn't until me and my mom prayed about our decision that God began to soften my daddy's heart because he was completely against the idea. Now, our answer was not what we intended to get, but it was definitely a possibility. Me and my mom went check out the school and fell in love with it. God gave me the confidence and the assurance that this was a better option that HE chose for me.

I know down in my heart that there too i will probably have issues with people or just the way of doing things, but that is a step that God has chosen for me to take!

WHY does God give us trials?

Often we ask ourselves this very question. Over the past year (my freshman year in high school,) God has tried me many many times. I have had friend issues, relationship issues, family issues, teen issues (lol), you name it, i had it. It was not til i started literally getting on my knees and praising God for those trials that things got better. WHAT? you may ask. Yes, it's true, if you do that very thing and just trust God and give Him your grief, i be dern, you got it! I am studying the life of moses in my bible study every monday night and it has changed my life tremendously. I have developed such a loving relationship with Him that it has changed me completely. I'm still learning and i just crave the word of God!