Feeling a Little Worried

What a comfort it is to have a God who cares for us.. There are moments in life that wear us down. We sometimes feel that we are alone, but forget who created us. The passed year was eventful for me. I got to spend a lot of time with my family, but it was also a bad year for me. I lost my PawPaw on June 6, 2009. I watched his last breath leave his body on a hospital bed.
For weeks after he had died, I questioned God, "Why would this happen now?" This brought a lot of pain to my MiMi and I. Why would God do this, and why at this time?... He is God, and He can do it, that's why. Just as He gives life, He can take away.
Lately, I've been thinking about my Dad. His health isn't doing real well, and he doesn't like following the doctor's orders. He's also not saved. He has no idea what could happen. I haven't been the most patient son in the world, and I admit when I have shared the gospel with him, I got emotional, which doesn't help. If only my daddy realized how much Jesus loved him, maybe he would understand. I pray every night that God would give me another opportunity to pour my heart out to him without being disrespectful and emotional about it. I really wish it wasn't so hard for me to talk to him in love, as Christ would. If something were to happen to my daddy today, I would be torn apart. One, for not being the son I should've been. Two, not being an effective spiritual source in his life. And three, my mother would be emotionally disturbed. So right here right now, I give it to God. I pray that He would do His wondrous miracles in my daddy's life tonight that maybe one day when I get to Heaven, I'd be able to see my earthly father again!

I've also been thinking of my MiMi. Although there are no blood connections, we have a love connection. I have a relationship with her that no one else ever will share. Ever since PawPaw Livingston died, it's been tough for us both, but for her more. I worry every night I'm not at her house that something will happen. Her health isn't the best and I know that I need to be there if something does happen. And if something does happen without me there, I don't know if I would ever forgive myself for letting something so awful happen. I pray for her every night and every day, that she will make it through safely and her blood sugars won't exceed their limits. I can't help but think how hard it will be when God takes her home. This is the lady I spend my weekends with, I go to the movies with, I talk to every day on the phone, and I go on trips with. Why would God EVER take her from me?? Because He is God, and He can, that's why. So that His glory still might be shown through her ashes. That one might come to know Him through the life she lived. Maybe that her life was a witness to someone. So right here right now, I give it to God, I pray that He would do His wondrous miracles through my MiMi's life. That when He brings her home, that I would have peace about it, as well as her daughter Tracey and her 5 beautiful grandchildren. That I wouldn't look forward to the days of sadness, but the days beyond this world we live, that I would look forward to the day I see her face again in my Heavenly Father's kingdom.

Lord, I lift this night up to You. You know the feelings in my heart. You have my desires. You hold every tear I have cried. I feel You next to me now and am comforted! You are my God and can do anything You want and I will trust in You all the days of my life and I will not fret over tomorrow, because I have faith that Your will be done!